Movie poster from 1909

How to fall in love quickly and easily

A poem about falling in love.

Solution 1

Go to the produce section of the grocery store, 

stare at an apple, 

just one apple, 

and wait for someone to come along and take that apple. 

 

They saw you staring, 

they’re the apple of your eye. 

 

You can tell them that.

 

Solution 2

Wait at a busy intersection with one shoe untied and 

look around

 

Ask people walking by to help you tie your shoe.

 

Tell them that your hands are sore 

from opening too many pistachios. 

 

When someone stops to help, 

you know you’ve found the one. 

 

Solution 3

Ride the subway and make a general announcement. 

Start with 

 

“If anyone on here is a gemini 

please 

raise your hand,” 

 

then when all of the geminis on the subway have their hand raised, 

say 

 

“if any one of you gemini’s likes dogs

please 

keep your hand raised.” 

 

This won’t eliminate many people, 

because most subway riders 

like dogs. 

 

Then you can say 

 

“if any of you gemini dog-likers has a fascination with treasure hunting

and prospecting for gold, 

please keep your hand up.”

 

If anyone still has their hand raised, 

you know you’ve found your one. 

 

If multiple people still have their hand raised 

you can ask them to pick a number between one and ten. 

 

Whoever is closest, 

they’re the one. 

 

Solution 4

Go to a park wearing a veil, 

put out a sandwich board that says, 

 

“Are you the one?”  

 

Stand still, 

do 

not 

move. 

 

Someone will come along at some point

and lift your veil. 

 

This will be the first time you’re seeing them, 

immediately 

you will know if they are the one. 

 

If they are not, 

quickly tell them so, so they will drop the veil. 

 

Repeat this process until you find 

the one.